Faithful.
This is a characteristic of God that we so flippantly say. In Christian circles it’s mentioned so often that of course, God is faithful! He will be who He says He is. Many of my friends have gone through experiences and themed it as a time where God showed them that He is faithful. It seems like a pretty simple concept and one that I’ve always thought I had a pretty good understanding of – it didn’t really make sense to me that so many people didn’t understand Him. Until it did.
Over the ten weeks of my time in Nepal, God unraveled and built up my perspective and idea of what faithfulness really means.
Sure, I know that God is there for me. He’s got this all under control, right? I’ve got nothing to worry about – I know my God is faithful.
That’s easy to say when you still feel in control. Oh ya, God is here with me, we got this. But what happens when you’re left feeling alone, out of control, and powerless? Is God still faithful? Is He still in control? I’ve come to realize that I don’t really know my own faith until I feel like I have none. I don’t really know who God is until He’s all I have.
There was this moment. I’m sitting on a mountainside, students resting up at the house, co-leader sick in bed three hours away, crying out to Jesus because He was all I had. In a moment of pure honesty I said “God I can’t do this, I can’t do two more weeks of this on my own”. It was right then that I realized the truth of both my humanity and my faith.
I can’t do this on my own….and I don’t have to.
God being faithful not only means He will never leave you, it means you don’t have to go it alone. When your world around you gives way and you feel like you’ve lost everything, you’re not alone, you’re not abandoned. When your job falls through, you’re not alone. When the tension builds, you’re not alone. When joy seems impossible, you’re not alone.
I have this relationship with a Jesus who is by my side in every single moment of both joy and tension, laughter and sorrow. He’s a constant. He holds my world in His hands. I will make it, I will be okay, because my Jesus is faithful to walk with me. He’s faithful to not leave me alone.
It was with this realization that my faith dug to the next level. With this understanding, new opportunities come to light. Opportunities once clouded with too many what-ifs and doubts are now surrounded by the light of the truth that if my God is for me, anything is possible. Joy suddenly seems that much more attainable. If Jesus, the author of joy, will never leave me, well then joy is right by my side!
This is an exciting and somewhat daunting truth to grab hold of. The possibilities are endless…but so is the joy. Choose joy.